


By Any Other Name

by alexcat



Series: August 2018 Alphabet fics [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Almost Explicit, Alphabet, Ficlet, Humor, M/M, Penis names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 01:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15675021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: There are many names for penis! Most are awful!





	By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> M is for manhood.  
> "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" ~ Romeo and Juliet - Shakespeare

“So what _do_ you call it?” 

Tony and Steve were lying the bed, basking in the afterglow, as it were. Steve might have preferred just going to sleep for a bit, but Tony always seemed to need to talk. A lot. Usually about something silly.

“Uh, not a lot of reason to name it. ‘Dick’ works as good as anything,” Steve answered finally, mostly because Tony had that expectant look that said he wasn’t going to shut up until they had this conversation. 

“What about cock? It has more of a powerful connotation,” Tony asked as he stared at the ceiling. “There’s prick and pecker, though neither of them sound very powerful though. One sounds like a needle and the other a chicken, which brings me back to cock. Tallywhacker, though I’m not sure at all what that is. How about gigglestick?”

The word made Steve laugh. “Does mine look like a gigglestick to you?” 

Tony looked very serious. “Um, no, not in the least. As I was saying, there’s trouser snake, pickle, Johnson, junk…”

“Is this going somewhere?” Steve asked.

“Maybe, not sure yet. Love rocket, junior, willie, wiener, popsicle.” He paused mostly because Steve had started laughing again. 

“I can’t say that most of those are very inspirational. ‘Tony, I want to suck your popsicle.’” 

Tony said, “Say that one again in about 20 minutes and I’ll show how inspired I can get.” 

“Something more dignified, more romantic,” Steve said. 

“Romantic? Like in romance novels? Rod? Member? Manhood.” 

“I like that one: manhood. Sounds strong, not like something you say to a four year old, like tallywhacker or weewee. ‘Put your manhood in me, Tony.’” 

Tony laughed again. “My manhood likes them all. See? He’s trying to wake up but I’m using all my blood to think of names for your dick.” 

Steve looked. Tony’s ‘manhood’ was certainly making a valiant effort. Maybe if he helped it a little. He slid his hand down Tony’s belly to the topic of their discussion, taking it into his hand and stroking slowly, up and down. He also leaned close enough to kiss Tony, a kiss that started sweet and ended in a rather more heated way. 

Tony said. “You woke it. Now what shall we do?”

Steve licked his lip and without missing a beat, growled, “Put your manhood in me, Tony.”

He did and that ended the conversation. For now, anyway.


End file.
